Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Theme 11 - 33%

Zach scuttled across a busy road on the way to his friends house. He let out a sigh once he reached the other side. There had to be a better way to travel. Passing by a gas station, he read all the signs that he passed. "Gas - 3.99." "Soda - 1.50." "33%."

"33 percent?" Zach read out loud. He stopped before the sign and tilted his head at the number. Green leaves intruded on the percent sign and the rest of the words as well. Slowly, he reached and pulled the branch back. The sun shined on the words as he read, "Teleportation devices inside. 33% better than before!" A huge smile lit up his face. If it was better than before, then it must be great now. He only had five more minutes to walk 'til he arrived at his destination, but he may as well try a new travelling technique if it's been improved.

Zach sauntered into the gas station, ready to try anything. He stopped at the front desk and inquired about the sign.

The red headed cashier nodded his head and then told him all about the machine. He had bought it a few years ago after owning a promotional model and planned to charge people 25 cents for each trip. It seemed like easy money, and it was much cheaper than gas. However, it never took off. He kept having problems, especially with the promotional one.

"What kind of problems?" Zach asked.

"Well, sometimes body parts would get left behind. Someone even left everything but her neck and head. That wasn't a fun lawsuit. Apparently, when the salesman said the machine was 33% better than nothing, it meant that the machine only transported 33% of someone's body."

Zach's mouth hung open. Surely, that didn't mean...Nah. The second machine was improved now. He could travel safely if he avoided the promotional one--he was sure of it, but he wanted some more assurance from this man. "But the machine's better, right? It probably works well since it's been improved."

"Well, it is only 33% improved," said the cashier, stroking his elongated beard.

The patron scoffed and laughed. "So that means only 66% of someone's body is transported?"

"Yup. Would you like to try it? It only costs 33 cents, 33% more of 25 for the extra 33% of your body."

Zach didn't reply. Instead, he threw himself out the door and ran down the street away, clutching at his favorite 33% of his body.